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Alright, I will start by apologizing for the lack of updates yesterday…the past 2 days have been really rough.  I am feeling really down and Marlowe just isn’t performing well on NST (non-stress test), making for lots of stress and concern.  We thought she seemed to be doing pretty well for a couple days there and now, they aren’t getting the accerlations they need to see and her movement seems to be decreasing even more.  Yesterday morning the doctor I saw acted like I *might* be able to go home after my growth scan if all looked stable on there.  However, since we have had 3 bad NST in a row, the doctor today says that even if she looks OK on the scan, they may keep me here for constant monitoring, it just all depends on what perinatal finds and their opinion on all my monitoring results.  On top of all those concerns, my amniotic fluid appears to be dropping and that is representative of my placenta functioning.

One positive note is that my growth scan was supposed to be tomorrow, but after I begged every person who walked in my room, they got it moved to today at 3pm.  So we should have some answers sooner than expected.  I admit, I feel so nervous I could puke right now and I am constantly on the verge of tears.  Being stuck in this bed 24/7 is starting to get to me.  I did see Olivia 3 days in a row in 30 minute increments, which was awesome…but yesterday I felt so stir crazy I asked if my mom could wheel me around the halls….I got the big fat “NO” from the dr.  That was a bit disappointing to hear, especially since I don’t see what the difference is between sitting in my bed or sitting in my wheelchair.  It isn’t like I am flat on my back in bed all day, I sit up!  But regardless of my opinion, I was not able to get out of my room, so they win.

I have been taking pictures to share with you guys, but don’t have the passion to do anything with them right now.   I am pretty much just waiting for my appt at 3pm and praying that somehow things look amazing.  I will keep everyone updated after that appt, thanks for all your support and for reading along.  It means so much to me that I have so many people praying for Marlowe and following along on our journey.  xoxoxoxoxoxo!

Thought I would come back to share my dinner…which I didn’t eat.  I haven’t been feeling well since about 3pm, just overall kinda achy and feeling like I might be getting a sore throat.  But who knows, it could just be the suckiness of sitting here all day and all night long getting to me.  I confess to eating my orange sherbert and drinking my tea.  And I tried a bite of everything you see, but wasn’t impressed enough to actually consume more.

Ok, so I guess this is goodnight!  Praying for a better day tomorrow and seriously hoping that whatever I am feeling is not me actually getting sick.

Sorry I failed to post an update last night….my husband was here visiting and I took each second of his time to ramble about nonsense bc I have so much alone time here during the day.  I hate the 2 visitor rule per day since my 2 visitors can’t come til very late…it makes for a very lonely time here.  So I will start off today’s post with an update from last night.

They came to do my monitoring right before bed and what is supposed take about 20 mins if she performs well, took more like 2 hours as usual.  She wasn’t all that active and she had a couple heart rate decelerations, one that went into the 70’s and remained there for a couple seconds.  That kept me on monitoring for an additional hour or so bc the nurses weren’t too thrilled to see that.  But she managed to get busy again and have a couple decent accelerations that finally got us off the monitor prison for bed time.

I still had a god awful headache when I went to bed but my husband brought me a heating pad which I kept on the base of my neck all night and I woke up feeling a bit better.  However, each nurse is different and the one I woke up to this morning appears to be a rule follower bc she immediately took my heating pad away.  She claims it is against hospital guidelines since it requires an electrical outlet and produces heat…ummmmm ok…so does my laptop, my cell phone charger, etc.  So I am waiting for her to come notice my massive power supply cord and tell me that isn’t allowed either.  For some reason this made my day start off on a not so happy note and I am not loving my new nurse.  I think my night nurse really spoiled me and didn’t prepare me well for the shift change, LOL.  So it might be a long day.

And well, once again…I have no visitors bc my husband works weekends and someone has to be home to watch Olivia, so my mom is stuck there.  I am feeling kinda pitiful and alone today, with the sucky Saturday tv options not helping a whole lot.  Supposedly my husband will be off a little earlier today and my mom can come visit for a while this afternoon and then they can switch places, but with his schedule, everything is unpredictable and I am trying not to get my hopes up.  And after seeing Olivia yesterday, I got a little spoiled and I wanna see her again…but this nurse doesn’t feel like the right nurse to ask.

On a good note…my 24 hour urine collection ends in 1.5 hours.  Even though I have nothing better to do, collecting my own urine in a jug isn’t the most fun thing to do.  I will be happy when that is over and I can pee directly in the toilet…it’s the little things folks, LOL.

That leads me to breakfast for today.  I had someone from the nutrition dept come talk to me yesterday and she let me know that you can actually order anything your heart desires for your meals and multiple things if you wish.  So that might have made me go a little crazy yesterday when placing my orders for today, hehehe.  I ended up with quite a few random options, all of which included tons of carbs, go figure.  But I thought I might as well sample what they have to offer and find something that I really like. And well, I was remotely successful…I really liked my french toast!

Here is my breakfast for today…and NO, I didn’t eat it all…it wasn’t that good, LOL!

So all in all, today feels like one of my worst days yet…just feeling kinda down about the situation and trying to find stuff to occupy my time.  Only 3 more nights to get through until my next growth scan on Tuesday and then hopefully there will be some sort of game plan in place.  I feel so in the unknown right now and I just have no idea how she is growing in there.  I have no clue what I am gonna do for the 3 days….I am not a movie watcher, my head hurts all the time, so reading isn’t the best option and I can’t think of much else to do.  If anyone has any great ideas for me, let me know!  I should be back after my lunch to share my awesome meal…I may have over-ordered again, haha!